Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
