hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Randomize
