Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
