I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Quick, to the slutcave!
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
