bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
