I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize