after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
That accounts for only three of the penises
So much rum. So many feels.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize