His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
