Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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