but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I party with great urgency now.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
