Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
