we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Randomize