careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Come share oat with me in your robe
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
