I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
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