it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
