these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Randomize
