We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Randomize
