Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Randomize
