why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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