yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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