having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
