I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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