There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
