I'm gonna have a badass scar
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
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