dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
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