I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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