Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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