No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
