I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
