Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
40s are totally the cure
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Randomize
