Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Randomize
