I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
