how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
