Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
