So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
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