Where did you get a picture of my penis
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Randomize
