You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
i would one night stand the shit outta him
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Randomize
