Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
