So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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