He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Randomize
