you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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