Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Randomize
