Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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