Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
she smelled like a LAN party
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
