goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
