but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Randomize
