i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
