guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I need moral support for this bender
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
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