i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Randomize
