reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
