I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
