I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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