i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
