just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
drinking out of a sandbucket again
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
