I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
