Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Randomize
