everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Randomize
