I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
