Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
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