i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
