Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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