Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
