gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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